evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
