Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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