I hate your face
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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