I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
