drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to align my fucking chakras
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
