So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
