i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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