Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
