OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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