i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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