I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my being single is dangerous.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
