Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm passing your future prison.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
