sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
