your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Terrible idea I love it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
