Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
