Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
