Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize