I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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