hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
