my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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