She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
