He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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