I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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