Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
