you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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