lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
