I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
