My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
