so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
