I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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