my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
