Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
