Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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