im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
