My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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