This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
