Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
