I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
