You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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