i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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