if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Mom said you looked used
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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