There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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