Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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