it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
