dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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