after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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