Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
