yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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