THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
