I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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