shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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