She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize