Ambien. No doubt about it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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