My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
