I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
