The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
