Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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(401): You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men. http://tfl.nu/u1rr

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(317): View more from Indiana

I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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(317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943

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(818): View more from California

My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

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(818): My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert. http://tfl.nu/ehir

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(214): View more from Texas

Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

(214): View more from Texas

If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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(214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp

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(757): View more from Virginia

ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.

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(757): ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work. http://tfl.nu/i4i5

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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(609): Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City http://tfl.nu/hsks

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(916): View more from California

You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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(916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi

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(310): View more from California

i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets

(818): View more from California

julia child would be proud.

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(310): i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets (818): julia child would be proud. http://tfl.nu/gv9u

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(425): View more from Washington

Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.

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(425): Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older. http://tfl.nu/u48g

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(765): View more from Indiana

It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

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(765): It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night. http://tfl.nu/hkf5

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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(252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them. http://tfl.nu/kwke

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(269): View more from Michigan

He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

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(269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14

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(440): View more from Ohio

They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.

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(440): They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME. http://tfl.nu/kpqr

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(301): View more from Maryland

Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?

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(301): Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours? http://tfl.nu/n62u

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(636): View more from Missouri

PS: I just woke up from my shower

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(636): PS: I just woke up from my shower http://tfl.nu/57k9

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