I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This house was built for laser tag.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.