i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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