you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
