Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
