I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
