so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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