did you get engaged???
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
