He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
