So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
